So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
