Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
