so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
