Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
