Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize