Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just threw up on my dentist
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
