I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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