Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
