So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
