She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
