yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
