Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
