dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
