We won't sleep together?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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