Sponge bath it is.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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