as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
