Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
