9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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