we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
