we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
