Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize