Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
