i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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