There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
