how can u be prego again
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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