What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
