Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
