after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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