I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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