thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
