You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
