Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I still have a little drunk in my system
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
