We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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