I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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