My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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