I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize