So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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