I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
