I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
