If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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