Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
