I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
