Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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