this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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