Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
