frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
