did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize