Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
