I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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