i permit you to call me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
