..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize