highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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