Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
