When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
