Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
