you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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