Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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