My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
