I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
4 words: hood of his car
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
