I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
