guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
