I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
