I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize