New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
