i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
