so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
