That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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